Anxiety and high-functioning anxiety

You’re getting everything done. You just can’t seem to turn your brain off.

You handle the work. Remember the details. Show up for people. Think three steps ahead. Keep everything moving.

From the outside, you probably look like you have it together.

But inside, your brain is always working.

Replaying the conversation. Second-guessing the decision. Thinking about what you forgot. Planning for what could go wrong. Running through tomorrow before today is even over.

And even when there’s nothing you need to be worrying about, your brain can usually find something.

Anxiety doesn’t always look anxious.

Sometimes it looks incredibly capable.

Prepared. Responsible. Productive. The person everyone can count on.

You can be successful at work, present for your family, have great relationships, and genuinely enjoy your life.

And still feel like your brain never lets you fully relax into any of it.

When anxiety has helped you stay ahead, avoid mistakes, and keep things under control, it may not even feel like anxiety.

It may just feel like the way you have to operate to keep your life working.

“But what if worrying is the reason I’m good at what I do?”

This is where anxiety gets tricky.

If you think through every possible outcome, maybe nothing will catch you off guard.

If you prepare enough, maybe you won’t make a mistake.

If you replay the conversation, maybe you’ll figure out what you should have said.

And sometimes those strategies do work.

Which makes them really hard to stop using.

The problem is that your brain never gets much opportunity to learn that you can handle uncertainty without constantly trying to eliminate it.The more you try to get rid of anxiety, the louder it can get.

Maybe you avoid things that make you uncomfortable. Ask someone else what they think before trusting your own decision. Google something one more time. Check your work again. Rehearse what you're going to say. Keep yourself busy so you don't have time to think.

It makes you feel better.

For a minute.

And that temporary relief can accidentally teach your brain: Good thing we did that. There really was something to worry about.

So the next time anxiety shows up, your brain asks you to do it again.

This is one of the reasons anxiety can persist even when you know your fears aren't completely rational.

The Things That Calm Anxiety Can Also Keep It Going

Maybe you:

• ask someone else what they think before trusting your own decision

• Google something one more time

• check your work again

• rehearse what you’re going to say

• avoid situations that make you uncomfortable

• stay busy so you don’t have time to think

• keep asking for reassurance that everything is okay

And for a minute, you feel better.

That short-term relief can make the same pattern even more tempting the next time anxiety shows up.

Therapy isn't about teaching you how to never feel anxious.

Anxiety is a normal human emotion.

The goal isn’t to eliminate it.

The goal is to help anxiety stop making so many decisions for you.

Our therapists help clients work through patterns like:

• chronic worry

• overthinking

• perfectionism

• people pleasing

• panic

• avoidance

• reassurance seeking

• difficulty tolerating uncertainty

• feeling responsible for everything

• needing to stay in control

Depending on what you need, therapy may incorporate approaches such as CBT, ACT, exposure-based strategies, mindfulness, EMDR, or other evidence-based treatments.

Imagine being able to trust yourself without thinking through every possible outcome first.

Making a decision without needing to be 100% sure.

Having a difficult conversation without replaying it for the next three days.

Resting without feeling like you’re forgetting something.

Letting someone else handle something without mentally supervising them.

Being present for the good parts of your life without part of your brain already preparing for what comes next.

You don’t have to become less driven, less responsible, or less successful.

You just don’t have to be anxious in order to be those things.

Finding the Right Therapist Shouldn’t Be Another Thing to Overthink

Third Wave has therapists with different personalities, specialties, schedules, and approaches.

You don’t have to scroll through dozens of profiles and try to figure out who you’re supposed to choose.

Tell us what you’re dealing with. We’ll help you find the right fit.

We offer anxiety therapy in Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Garner, and online throughout North Carolina.