Five Realistic Expectations for Couples Therapy

| Zack Ufland, LMFTA

Couples therapy can be a great and significant step in restructuring your relationship or improving your connection, but if you are like many people, you may be experiencing nervousness, intimidation, or feeling generally overwhelmed. Knowing what to realistically expect can help to alleviate some initial fear about starting the process.


A winding road.

Expect for this to be a journey. A fractured relationship rarely forms overnight, and you both should give yourself grace and time to allow parts of the relationship to heal.

A beautiful but sometimes painful process.

The hope of this process is to produce a deeper, more safe and connected attachment to your partner which at times can be difficult if there have been significant emotional injuries.

For some, it may get worse before it gets better.

This is not a rule, but when we approach emotional defensiveness and deep rooted pain, oftentimes we give voice to our resentment that leads to further disconnection. Thankfully, this does not usually last long!

A trusting therapeutic relationship. 

Most therapists will outline their “no secrets” policy. If this is evident, the therapist will not continue couples therapy while secretive and damaging information is withheld. This protects you both in the process.

To finally be heard!

You will learn skills to voice your deepest concerns and guide your partner to be present with you in your pain. 

Remember: Successful outcomes are proportional to the mutual investment of the couple! The best way to become and stay invested is to show up each session with curiosity and a willingness to trust the process.

Today's the day to make a change.